Wed

We are so married.

May 20, 2011

It's raining.

At 3 o'clock this afternoon I will hold hands with my best and favorite everything. We will kneel on either side of an altar and make promises with our whole hearts. We will be married.

There is no one else in the world.

What a beautiful day.

Guess what I did today?

Proenza Schouler

Every time I look at this dress, I have to talk myself down from buying it.

But it's so pretty!

But I picked a wedding dress already, I think.

But look at those sweet buttons!

But that is too much for a dress you might have to return.

But the shirring!

But you are pale and it's hard to tell online if the color will work.

But the silk! Don't you think it would feel so nice!

I'm still not sure which way this will swing.

I don't even know what to do with myself.

Lifelongs and forevers

*Otherwise known as the details.

Jared pulled back the covers on the bed and then tucked them all around me after I settled into the pillows. The cabin was cold. We had driven up to Flagstaff on Christmas day, ahead of his parents and brother so that we could heat up the house and trade a couple of gifts with just the two of us. But, I was still a little sick and very tired from the India trip. So, I was put to bed.

I woke up to a sweet hug, soft kisses, and a much warmer room.
"Come downstairs," he said, "Let's have Christmas."

A tree was up. Covered in lights, presents stacked around the trunk. Candles were lit around the room and over the mantle, two knit stockings hung, I imagine, with care. Jared took them down and we settled on the floor to empty them out. Everything in our stockings was from Jared's mom. I found body wash, lotion, perfumes, chocolate, and an orange. And in the bottom was a small, velvet jewelry box.

"Oh," Jared said, taking the box from my hand. "You can't have that until you answer a question."

I looked at him confused, "What?" I asked. Still thinking of earrings, or maybe a necklace, from his mother.

"You can't have it until you answer a question." He got on one knee.

"Oh," and then the whole world changed, like a small shift in space, the sunlight a slightly different color. And I thought, this is happening right now. Nothing will ever be the same. This is your whole life.

He opened the box and I got a glimpse of the ring before I looked back at his face. Then he asked.

"Will you marry me?"

"Yes," I said softly before kissing his mouth and hugging him hard around the neck. I was crying. I didn't want to stop holding him and touching him. Minutes later he asked if I wanted to see the ring. "I do," I said tearfully, "It's just that I love you so much!"

One more kiss. One more hug. And then he put it on my trembling finger.

Favorite things he's said

"Do you think other people are so lucky?"

"Let's fall asleep together sometime soon."

"You are my favorite."

"My heart jumped when I saw you."

"The first time I met you I thought, that is a girl with a gorgeous face."

"You are my home."

"Best friend."

"I love you more than I ever knew it was possible to love anyone."

"I never thought it could be this good."

"Will you marry me?"*



*details to follow